Yesterday I reached the 30 week mark of my pregnancy. This milestone in my pregnancy brings on many emotions. Happiness, Anxiety, Excitement... Just to name a few. I feel like I still have so much to do to get myself prepared for Isabelle's arrival. I know that I have plenty of time, its the energy that I am lacking. Lately I find myself completely drained most of the day. I know that its because I have a toddler. She is my world, but lately I have found myself distancing from her. I am on edge a lot of the time, and my patience is close to non-existent these days. I feel bad... She loves me so much, and wants to share every part of her day with me. She is a sweetheart, but at the same time, she is a typical toddler. She wants her way, and she wants it now. She is beginning to play the 20 questions game with me, but instead of 20 different questions, it is the same 3 questions over and over again. I know that I need to cherish this time with her though. Not only because I will miss it someday... but because pretty soon I will have another child that will need my attention, and I will have to learn how to divide it between the two. I also need to realize, that there is someone out there who would LOVE to have a child constantly under their feet, asking them the same questions over and over again, following them around the house, wanting to do everything that mommy does... But they have tried to have a child and cant... It really helps to change your perspective and think of things a little differently. I know that the irritability and lack of patience and just wanting peace and quiet is just my pregnancy hormones talking, but it still makes me feel like a terrible mother...
As I sit here and write this, my energetic, talkative toddler is laying in my bed, fast asleep. She doesn't know that mommy is drained, or that mommy just might not feel like answering 20 questions today, or that mommy doesn't want to clean up the same messes over and over again... But one thing she does know is that she loves her mommy, and just wants her attention. I just hope and pray that tomorrow I can take a deep breath, have a little patience, and remember that this wont last forever, and although I don't think so now, someday I will miss these moments and wish that my sweet little Bryelle was following me around the house, asking me what I am doing for the umpteenth time...
On another note, Isabelle seems to be doing great. She is still a very active baby and is constantly moving. Her movements have becoming a lot stronger these days, and actually quite uncomfortable. She REALLY likes my ribs lately.
I have been having to check my blood sugar again, but unfortunately I ran out of my test strips a few days ago and haven't been able to get more yet. I am not sure what they will have me do but hopefully I wont have to start the two weeks over. My next appointment is this coming Friday so we shall see.
Last week I met up with the woman who is training to be a doula and will be attending Isabelle's birth. I am really excited. She brought her bag of goodies that she will be using to help me stay comfortable during labor. I am really glad that I found her and I really think she is going to do a great job as a doula. She already seems very passionate about it and that is SO important. We will meet up with her again in December, but this time it will be Bryan and I together. Its important for the dad to meet with the doula to make sure that they get along and that dad knows that the doula is there to help him, not replace him.
I cant believe that we have a little over two months left until Isabelle's arrival. It seems like it was just yesterday that I found out I was expecting, and how I never thought I would get over the morning sickness, and now here we are, less than 10 weeks away. I cannot complain about anything except the awful heartburn that plagues me every single day... That, and my joints in my hips and pelvis are starting to loosen up, so after I have been walking a while, or sitting for a long period of time, it is a little difficult to walk. I have also been getting spasms in my lower back the last few days so I will have to remember to mention that to my midwife. Other than all that, everything is great :)
If this blog post seems all over the place, its because I am exhausted, but I wanted to write a little something just to get things off of my chest and to clear my mind a little. That is all for now! Until next time. :)
